June’s main focus was the Blobarrick Freindschaft’s (also commonly referred to here as “the braucherei guild”) annual retreat.

Despite my best efforts, I forgot to pack a thing before leaving for the retreat! That thing I forgot just so happened to be buspirone, a medication I take for anxiety.

One night, a week or so prior to the trip, I felt compelled to draw the Baerke rune over the bottle of buspirone, asking for Berchta’s blessings and strength to manage my anxiety levels so I can keep pushing forward. I was also mentally struggling with “needing” medication to manage said anxiety, so I needed to do something to the pills to erase the cold, sterile, big pharma-feel of them and make them feel more like the healing tools they are supposed to be.

After digging around my suitcase for a bit and confirming that, yes, I did indeed forget my anxiety meds, I recalled the image of me blessing the bottle of pills a week prior. I saw the Baerke rune clearly in my mind, bold and black with a light/electric blue outline “etched” onto the bottle. I asked Berchta to help keep my mind calm and my thoughts focused on things I can control. I needed my mind clear and focused and not bogged down by my racing anxiety-fueled thoughts.

She, and the magic of her rune, Baerke, really came through for me that week.

(I just want to note, I’m not advocating that anyone replace a medication with magic or prayer. Since coming back from the retreat, I’m back on my regular meds routine. Take your meds!)

This year was a big one for me and my fellow apprentices since it marked the end of our apprenticeship and beginning of our journeyman phase in the practice of braucherei and hexerei. We recited our prayers, presented our projects and had the power passed to us by our mentors.

The passing of the power is where a lot of my anxieties surrounded. Will I feel different afterward? What if don’t feel anything? What if the power doesn’t actually pass to me? Am I worthy of this? Have I studied enough? Worked hard enough?

I can definitely say that my anxiety thoughts did not get in the way of the exchange of energy between Stacey and I when the power was passed. It felt like she “punched” a bluish, white ball of electricity into my head that quickly dispersed throughout my entire body. I rode the energetic high for the rest of the day and well into the night but the next morning I felt like I had an energy hangover!

My main prayer recitation and project presentation went incredibly well. The next day, after the project presentations and power-passing, I led a class about the runes that sort of served as a continuation of my presentation.

Now that we’re a few weeks post-retreat and power-passing, I can definitely say that I do feel different. I feel more “plugged-in” to the world around me. More strongly than ever, I feel the need to be of service to my Pagan community. I have this sense that, despite all of the chaos and turmoil of the world presently, there is hope for a better future.

“We all do better when we all do better.”

Hail Berchta!